Asking vs Expecting

At this point I'm not going to apologize for language used. That is how I FEEL. So I am going to express it. More and more I try to get a handle on money, the more I realize that I am in the same damn boat of everyone else! The wool has been over my eyes for long enough and I am SO pissed to find out how naive I've been. Let's get personal... I am $13,565.00 in debt

PAUSE
I was in the middle of expressing my distaste for my current economic situation when I was interrupted. My mom told me to take her to Ross to go shopping. Of course I got my things and left the window open on the computer and prepared to leave. I wanted to say.. "Look I'm busy bitching about money and I'm TRYING to find a way up and out of this mess." But I didn't. She's my mother... and my mother taught me to be respectful to others. Not a valued lesson when I feel like being a bitch (which is more often than I wish it would be). We got into the car and I chose to be silent and think to myself. I thought about voicing my impatience but didn't. I thought about finding peace in doing a service for her. Then she interrupted AGAIN and asked me to stop by the bank. I sat in the car for afew minutes with the AC on. Then again I'm broke... so I shut off the engine and rolled down the windows. It's too hot in the valley to bake in the sun but it's too dry in the desert to waste anything. I found some, and I mean a small amount of, peace. When she got back in I started the engine and began to roll backwards as she handed me $400. My eyes were fixed on the four copies of Benjamin Franklin's mugshot when I almost hit a car passing behind me. Oh! Am I still driving? I recollected myself and asked the conditioned question... "What's the catch?" She looked at me with a blank gratitude. Obviously she's got some more peace than I at this moment. You see... I'm not used to receiving money. By used to I don't mean I don't ever get it, I mean it always comes with a far more expensive price...

I don't have much more to say or explain about today but this...

Ask and you shall receive. Hold out your hand and it shall be bitten.

Thanks Mom.